Nevertheless...Motherhood Mantra 2016

...nevertheless...

Towards the end of last year I came across the following scripture and it really resonated with me:

Verily, verily, I say unto you, ye are little children, and ye have not as yet understood how great blessings the Father hath in his own hands and prepared for you; and ye cannot bear all things now; nevertheless, be of good cheer, for I will lead you along. The kingdom is yours and the blessings thereof are yours, and the riches of eternity are yours. - D&C 78:17-18

The whole of those verses are absolutely beautiful but what really stuck out to me was the phrase "nevertheless, be of good cheer."

I decided as I read and re-read those words that they needed to become my mantra for the coming year. 

Often, I find myself struggling to be cheerful with my family - especially my children. The constant messes and crying and whining and needing me makes me cranky and a little crazy after only a short while - every day. My internal dialogue is usually something like "I could be a happier, fun mother if they would just listen the first time...if they wouldn't spill their food...if they could get themselves ready in the morning...if, if, if, if."

And I can really see how that big "IF ONLY" mindset is robbing me of the little joys that are surely there everyday. Robbing me of the opportunity to be NOW the kind of mother I've always wanted to be. 

My goal is to try and replace the "if only's" in my mind with that phrase "nevertheless." 

And let me tell you, there are plenty of opportunities to practice!

Big and small. Every. Single. Day.

Like when I was diagnosed with gestational diabetes. 

At first it was terrifying and kind of devastating. There were tears and fears and I felt simultaneously guilty and picked on. But I've come to see that while, yes, I have gestational diabetes and have to make sacrifices, I can nevertheless, be of good cheer. 

Because nevertheless, my baby is healthy. 

I got to see this cute boy a few extra times during the extra ultrasounds needed in a diabetic pregnancy. They constantly told me how perfect he was - just right on every measurement, super cooperative and darn cute!

Nevertheless, I am healthy. My numbers have been exceptionally great the entire trimester as I have followed the nutritional instructions I was given. I even got to reduce the number of times I have to check my blood sugar each day.

Nevertheless, I've lost weight in my third trimester! (I was about 144 lbs when I was diagnosed with gestational diabetes and am currently sitting here at 138 lbs 39 weeks. To give a little more perspective I usually end up a little over 150 lbs at the end of my pregnancies).

Nevertheless, I have almost no heartburn, minimal back/hip pain and significantly reduced water retention. Nevertheless, I've learned to eat better overall and find creative, healthier, portioned ways to indulge.

Sugar-Free Pumpkin Pie. SO good!

Like when you take an extra 45 minutes to do your daughter's fingernails after she's begged you for weeks but then she pulls them off an hour later.

Nevertheless, be of good cheer. 

Nevertheless, we had a good time together doing something she wanted to do.

Nevertheless, she was happy.

Nevertheless, I was a "happy, fun mom" for 45 minutes...the way I always envisioned it would be.

Like when your daughter finds the cupcake baking set she got for her birthday last year and asks you to make cupcakes. And you're tired. And not planning on that. And thinking about the mess. And knowing you can't eat any of them.

Nevertheless, be of good cheer.

Nevertheless, she felt grown up and valued for an hour.

Nevertheless, she created something and felt accomplished.

Nevertheless, I felt accomplished as a mother despite the additional mess (imagine that!).

Like when you take your kids to the park just for the heck of it and watch your oldest be excluded and heartbroken for the first time. And then you take them to get ice cream to make up for it somehow and the ice cream machine is broken.

Nevertheless, be of good cheer.

Nevertheless, she learned a valuable lesson in being nice and playing with others.

Nevertheless, she grew in her sympathy and love for others.

Nevertheless, she is still a happy kid and not scarred forever.

Nevertheless, I learned how resilient kids are. And how sometimes you just can't protect them and that is still okay in the end.

Nevertheless, they got to have french fries.

Nevertheless, they got to play with others in the play place.

Like when you find out your baby flipped the wrong way and you might have to have a version, an emergency c-section or a scheduled c-section...and you find out on the same day as your baby shower...that is happening at your house. And then you forget to take a single picture of the event.

Nevertheless be of good cheer.

Nevertheless, I was too busy cleaning and cooking to think about the scary unknowns that just landed in my lap. A definite blessing that day.

Nevertheless, I had an AMAZING baby shower.

Seriously. SO many people came and were SO generous.  And still others sent gifts when they couldn't actually be there. I felt incredibly loved. I was ridiculously spoiled. 

Nevertheless, Belle, my AMAZING sister-in-law, took pictures of everybody there and sent them to me!

Nevertheless, so many people prayed for me and encouraged me and I was fortunate enough to go back the next week to have the baby head down again all on his own. 

Ye Cannot Bear All Things Now

This "nevertheless" mentality is beautiful but not easy. The hardest thing for me is realizing the "nevertheless" in the very same moment that I need it...instead of in retrospect. I'm working on it. I'm improving, I really am.

Even on days when I think the little difficulties and setbacks are more than I'm capable of overlooking. Even on days I flat out fail at overlooking them (and boy does that happen!), I'm brought added strength and peace from the preceding phrase in that verse - "ye cannot bear all things now." The Lord knows exactly where I'm at and what I cannot handle. He knows I will have many failing moments nevertheless he gives me opportunities to improve. Nevertheless he lets me try. Nevertheless he still trusts me with these children. Nevertheless my failures can be turned into stepping stones on a path to success. 

...how great blessings the Father hath in his own hands and prepared for you...

But you know what is really amazing about those verses? I'm told that I can't even understand all the wonderful things and blessings that have been prepared for me. Prepared. It's already done. They're ready. They're waiting for me. And you know what? I can begin to glimpse that a *little* bit!

How often, when I'm paying attention, I don't even need to say nevertheless. So many times I'm blessed with 100% wonderful moments. I don't have to find the good through the haze of difficulty. It's just a good moment. Plain and simple. There is no "nevertheless." There is just "cheer."

Like when you get an unexpected care package from your mom.

Like when you get to play outside at Grandma's house with your children and eat fresh oranges right off the tree on a perfectly beautiful day.

Like when you get to a hold a sweet, new soul for the first time.

Baby Orland Olmstead...just a little over a week old here. Such a beautiful, precious baby. I wish my sisters would keep popping out babies forever so I could love always have cute nephews/nieces to snuggle!

Like when you do a few simple things and create a memorable Valentine's morning for your children (not to mention the sweet things we got from Grandpa Lords!).

The riches of eternity are yours.

They ARE mine. Right now. Already. And when I just take a minute to "nevertheless, be of good cheer" despite the messes and the crying and the constantly needing me, I can glimpse eternity in my children. In my home. In all the many facets of my life. The riches of eternity are mine. They are yours. And they are great! Still, I have not yet understood how great they are. It's marvelous, isn't it?