Baysinger: Love Grows Here: Raubyn

Oh, how glad we are - how very glad to finally be introducing this sweet girl:

Miss Raubyn Baysinger, we have been waiting for you.

As most mothers do, I eagerly anticipate the arrival of each of my babies. But it was a bit different this time. Never was I so unsure of our surrounding life circumstances and the wisdom of bringing yet another little soul into our care. We were expecting some big changes - like grad school, and selling our home, and moving. And yet, as I prepared my heart to the possibility, never had I felt so strongly the reassurances of heaven that another baby was right for us, and it was right for us right now. Undeniably.

And so I took that sweet inspiration and I clung to it for nigh unto 40 weeks. Remembering over and over that the bean growing inside of me was supposed to be coming to our home at this time.

Have I mentioned before that being pregnant is hard? Like really hard? And I am telling you that, for me at least, it just gets harder each time. Always worth it in the end, but wow. 'Tis no small sacrifice to create another human. As always, it took the sacrifices of many, not only just me, to make the 40 weeks possible. Angels known and unknown always come to my rescue, making the misery manageable. So many angels and so many blessings this time. My heart bursts at the thought of them.

In most ways, this pregnancy was very similar to my others. Very difficult sickness for the first 20 weeks. And then in the third trimester, like with Clark, a gestational diabetes diagnosis. I've come to see gestational diabetes as a blessing in disguise for me. Both times I've been able to control it entirely by diet - making me and baby much healthier in the long run than I would ever have the will power for on my own. Getting a gestational diabetes diagnosis last time felt fairly traumatic, but this time it hardly phased me. When it comes to third trimester hardships, the most difficult thing for me ended up being severe back pain/sciatica. Like, 'I-had-to-use-a-walker-to-stand-up-and-walk' kind of pain. This was me every time I had to move for the last few weeks:

I'm fairly certain that was brought on from all the extra physical strain that comes with moving. We finished selling our home and moving out around 37 weeks.

I longed for that baby to come out so that I could do things on my own again - like walk and get dressed.

Even as I write this, our permanent moving plans are not yet finalized, but at about that 37 weeks mark, we were expecting Ammon to be in Portland finalizing our rental not long after my due date.
I was due June 3rd.
He was to be out of town the weekend of June 8th.
And none of my babies have ever come early.
As you might imagine, this made me quite nervous.

So I spoke about inductions with Dr. Layton at my 37 week appointment (the very same day our house closed, Tuesday, May 15th). We discussed how far along I was (1 cm and 60% effaced) and when he would feel comfortable inducing me (as early as Memorial day - Monday, May 28th). I eagerly took his earliest Memorial day induction time (remember the pain I was in?!) and left the office... only to immediately feel mother guilt. I realized that Ammely's kindergarten graduation would be the very next day, Tuesday, May 29th. So I called back and asked to reschedule for some time after Tuesday. Dr. Layton, the kind and understanding person that he is, quickly rescheduled me for Thursday, May 31st at 5:00 a.m.

The days passed ever so slowly - but with the move complete I was able to rest a bit more and actually think about this incoming baby. By my 38 week appointment (Wednesday, May 23rd), I had progressed to 3 cm and 70% effaced. Dr. Layton stripped my membranes too and for the next 48 hours I had lots of sporadic contractions. I was hopeful that with being so far along, I'd naturally go into labor from there - but as with my other children, no luck there.

Even though I was aching, literally, for this baby girl to make her appearance, I really am glad she waited. Because she waited, both grandmas were able to be in town. Ammon's parents were out of town on a cruise until Sunday, the 27th. And my mom flew in on the 24th and was able to be here for over a week!

This meant I was able to enjoy Memorial Day festivities.
A relaxing day at Grandma and Grandpa Lords. Great food. Games. Everyone got in the pool. Twice. Perfection.

Isn't Grandma Lords adorable? Love her so!

Lynnden has a fierce game face - there was no mercy between the three-year old and the grandma.

Ammon and Uncle Boyd teaching Clark to say and play basketball.

And I was able to be at Ammely's Kindergarten graduation.
Such a great night! I hope to document this separately but suffice it to say that I am so glad I did not miss this!

Finally, Wednesday night rolled around. We all got blessings from Ammon (one of my favorite pre-baby traditions in this family) and then we got the kids in bed. We tried to kill some time until we felt like it was a good time to call Labor and Delivery to see if we'd be able to come in at 5:00 a.m. as scheduled. But they wouldn't say and told us to call back an hour before the scheduled time.

So induction day looked like this:

Thursday, May 31

3:45 a.m. - shower and get dressed

4:00 a.m. - call Labor & Delivery - it's a go!

*do an attractive, pregnant, happy dance*

5:00 a.m. - arrive at hospital

You can tell we are at the end of May - it is SO light outside at 5:00 a.m.!

5:20 a.m. - get placed in LDR room 7

(right next door to Lynnden's delivery room!)

From here we did a lot of waiting. Just as the nurse was about to get me started on paperwork and IVs and such, agonized screaming could be heard in the hallway and our nurse had to rush away to help.

Another woman had come in and she was in labor. Actually, she was basically done with labor. Labor pains are always the worst right before the baby arrives and she was at that point. It might have been funny if it didn't sound so heart-wrenching. Her intense screams of pain sobered us up real quick. I instantly remembered Clark's labor and some fear of reliving that began to come over me. Another nurse came in to explain what was happening and tried to offer some reassurance - "Please don't let this scare you. This isn't how this normally goes - usually everyone is happy and we have fun!" Hmmm. I mean, I knew what she meant. I've done this three other times. But still, I'm not sure "fun" is the right description of childbirth. Later, we found out that other lady was in the hospital for only about 5 minutes before delivering. So yeah- that is definitely not the usual. So scary!

7:15 a.m. - Drugs

Well, it was a bit of a delay and a bit slower start than usual, but they eventually sent in a different nurse and she got me started - the progress check (4 cm and 80% effaced), all the paperwork, all the monitors, and, at last, the baby-bringing drugs! I was on Pitocin at 7:15 a.m. Hooray!

With the sounds of another woman's anguished screams fresh in my ears, and the memories of excruciating labor pains, I became nervous that I wouldn't get the epidural quick enough. With every small contraction, I felt a little bit of anxiety.

The nurse, Hannah, told us that the anesthesiologist had somewhere else in the hospital he would have to be at 9:00. So I could either have him come in now, even though I was just barely getting started, wasn't very regular with contractions and seemed to be okay... or I could wait and get it later when things had progressed a little more. In previous labors, I would have waited. Even now I was still a little shy about getting pain medication. However, I think I wasn't the only one with visions of Clark's labor in my mind's eye, because Ammon quickly spoke up and asked that I get it as soon as possible.

I did not object.

The anesthesiologist came in pretty quickly and we really liked him. He was able to explain what was happening much more clearly than we had ever had before and he worked quickly.

8:30 a.m. Water Breaks

Almost immediately after getting the epidural, Dr. Layton arrived to check in on us (he confirmed I was 4 cm and 80%) and then he broke my water.

It always makes me nervous when he does that, but I'm not sure why. It has never hurt and it went just as smoothly this time. He made a comment about probably seeing me around lunch time and took off to get to his office appointments for the day.

8:45 a.m. Pain

After Dr. Layton left, I expected to be feeling quite content- what with having the epidural and all. I had high hopes of a nap while my body did it's thing. Well, I certainly felt some relief (mentally and physically) but, as seems to commonly be the case with me, it only was really working on one side of my body, my left side. They gave me a button to dispense more of it and told me to try two rounds (you could only push the button every 15 minutes). If I was still in pain by 9:15, she would call the anesthesiologist back to see what else he could do for me.

I was definitely feeling every contraction and they hurt. I mean, it was nowhere close to the pain I felt with Clark, but it was enough to stop me from talking and make me just say "Oooowwwwwwwwwwwwwww" throughout the entire contraction.

A bit after 9:00 the nurse could see that I was still in pain and so she called the anesthesiologist to head back my way. I remember he asked her what kind of pain I was in...and when she asked me, all I could think was "Uhhhh...labor pain. I'm having labor pains." Still seems like the most ridiculous question to me.

While we waited for the anesthesiologist, the nurse suggested checking me. She said sometimes epidurals seem less effective if you're progressing really quickly.

9:15 a.m. Fully Effaced and 9 cm

She was right.

We agreed that the epidural probably wasn't fully cutting it because in a mere 45 minutes I had become just about "done."

The anesthesiologist came in anyways and added to the epidural and said I should be getting a lot more comfortable pretty soon.

The nurse also informed us that the baby still hadn't dropped into the canal, but it was obvious that I was going to be having this baby soon anyways. With that news, I expected I would end up pushing for a lot longer than I usually do and was trying to brace myself for that.

The nurse called Dr. Layton to come back. We waited for Dr. Layton and let the epidural slowly take over the right side too.
.
The nurse fluttered around the room prepping for the birth and the baby. This moment always catches me off-guard as I realize that it is really time. This is happening now.
No more weeks to count.
No more timing contractions.
No more centimeters to dilate.
Another person is coming.
Right now.
And I am going to be the mother.
It's a big moment. It seems a little less scary each time, but no less monumental. What a mantle to receive.

It wasn't long before the doctor arrived, and I was numb, numb, numb, numb. Nothing like not being able to feel your own legs but needing to hold them up to make you realize how HUGE they are.

By the time Dr. Layton arrived , I was ready to go. Fully dilated. Fully effaced. And the baby had dropped down. Hip, hip, hooray!

Once everyone and everything was situated (not long at all, people move fast when it is baby time!) I listened to the Nurse Hannah remind me of hows and whens to push and got to it. After just one push, I looked up at Ammon to sort of gauge where we were at. I still was expecting a lot of pushing, even though they said the baby had dropped a bit. However, once I looked up at Ammon I could see on his face that he could see the baby on the way and I determined to not to look at him again - for the sake of keeping my emotions in check.

It was really only a couple of more pushes and then, well, what do you know...

9:43 a.m. Baby Raubyn is Born!

...they put a brand new, perfect little baby girl on my stomach. Her cord was pretty short, so they couldn't really get her up to my chest.

I looked at her and just held my breath. She hadn't made a peep. My other kids all cried before they even got to me and so I was nervous. The nurse rubbed her and patted her for what felt like forever but probably wasn't more than a minute. And then she let out a cry...most beautiful sound in the world.

Then Daddy cut the cord and I got to hold her better and try to drink in this new little face.

I took advantage of the hour they give you of uninterrupted skin-to-skin and nursing time before they take the baby and wipe her down, measure her, etc.

I let her Daddy hold her too.

At about that hour mark we handed her over for the wipe-down and measurements and I partook of a large, carby meal.

She measured in as our smallest baby to-date, 6 lbs 9 0z and 19.25 inches, but still perfect all around.

She was cold though, which made sense because I had been freezing after giving birth, so she wasn't getting a lot of heat from me that first hour.

So she happily laid out under the lamp until she was as warm as she should be.

And we waited for that epidural to wear off so we could move to our recovery room.

But it was going slooowwwwwllly. They eventually thought I might be able to stand enough just to pivot off the bed and into the wheelchair. Nope. If there hadn't been two nurses helping me I would have landed on the floor. So we tried a different tactic to get me into the chair and they wheeled us over to Room 1108.

That is always a sweet little moment - Banner Gateway always plays a little lullaby over the speakers as they wheel a new baby and their parents to their room. You get a lot of "congratulations" wishes from the nurses in the hallway. And then the rest of your time at the hospital, you kind of smile a little every time you hear a lullaby in the hallway knowing someone else is having a little miracle too.

Not long after we arrived in recovery, we heard a knock at the door and got our first visitors - Aunt Tammy and Uncle Patrick! They got our baby message just in time to swing on by on their way home from their cabin. It was perfect.

Tammy and Pat left to get some lunch at the cafeteria while Raubyn and I got checked and such. And we got Raubyn cozy in her pajamas...

...and it was only but a few moments later that our next visitors arrived...Grandma Breakall, Ammely, Lynnden and Clark. This video warms my heart - so many favorite Mommy moments...meeting the baby, learning her name, "introducing" her to Aunt Tammy and Uncle Patrick again. Well, just watch for yourself!

Then Uncle Patrick and Aunt Tammy took our three little hooligans to the cafeteria to get a treat. These kids are so lucky.

And then we had Grandma and Grandpa Lords!

Grandma Lords was a very special visitor because she helped inspire Little Miss Raubyn's name (Grandma's maiden name is Raub!)

We enjoyed chatting with everyone for quite a while, but eventually we were getting concerned that the little girl needed to eat.

So they gave me my baby back...

Super cute nursing cover is courtesy of the AMAZINGLY talented Aunt Amber!

and we kicked everyone out.

We spent the next hours trying to feed her and just enjoying her.

And accessorizing her.

You thought I'd be over that since she's my third girl?! Oh, silly, silly you.

And then that evening we had Grandma and Grandpa Baysinger come to meet her and to visit a while!

We had a really pleasant night - Raubyn was really low maintenance.

Friday, June 1 - Hospital Day Two

Everything seemed to be going so smoothly and we hoped to sail out of the hospital and back to home that morning.

Unfortuanetly, Miss Raubyn had slightly elevated bilirubin levels. And because we were headed into a weekend and couldn't go to the pediatrician the following day, we had to stay another day so they could check her levels again and make sure she was okay.

We were disappointed to say the least. Even a little irrationally angry. But we came to terms with our extended stay and settled in. Again.

We were pretty determined to do everything we could to make sure Raubyn wouldn't have to stay even longer and get treatments.

So we fed her. A lot.

And we took a few trips out to soak in the sunshine.